


Long Distance

by Cofkett



Series: How Many Ways to Say I Love You [1]
Category: Castle
Genre: F/M, oneshots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-28
Updated: 2015-10-28
Packaged: 2018-04-28 14:52:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5094800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cofkett/pseuds/Cofkett
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>While Castle's in LA consulting for the new Nikki Heat movie, Castle and Beckett chat over the phone. Phone Sex without the sex.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Long Distance

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on fanfiction.net under the same username. Written between seasons four and five. I've done a bit of editing so this version's a little different.

* * *

_#1_

 

 _I don't miss him,_ Beckett told herself as she tried to focus on the movie. It was ten o'clock at night and she was trying to relax on the couch. Try as she might, everything just felt off.

 _Ok, maybe I miss him a little,_ she conceded.

They had started with one or two sleep-overs a week. This level of their relationship was still very new for both of them and neither wanted to get too serious too soon. It had slowly escalated until now, six months later, they'd gone from "Do you want to hang out tonight?" to "Your place or mine?" to simply "See you tonight".

Somewhere along the line it had become habit to spend every night together. Not _this_ particular night, however. He was spending the week in Los Angeles to consult on the filming of _Naked Heat_. It had only been three days and already, it was the longest time they'd spent apart since they'd gotten together. Before that, they probably hadn't gone more than twelve hours withjout seeing each other.

 

 _It's normal to miss your boyfriend_ , she assured herself. Between home and work, they were usually together. She'd grown accustomed to spending every night on the couch with him. It felt much too empty without him there, cliché as it was. She'd never wanted to be one of those women who depended on a man and she'd definitely never wanted she and Castle to be one of those clingy couples who had to spend every moment together; but she couldn't help the twinge of loss she felt in her gut.

 _I can do this. I can go one week without talking to him every second._ She stared at her phone, trying to resist the urge to call him. _Oh, who am I kidding? I miss him, we're a couple. I should be able to check in with him once in a while, God-Damn it. So what if I lose the bet? It's only five dollars – and my pride._

She was just about to reach for her phone when it rang. It was Castle.

 _Oh, thank God_ , she Thought, sighping in relief when she saw his face on her screen. She grinned as she answered.

"I knew you'd break," she said smugly.

"What can I say?" He responded. " I'm weak."

God, it was good to hear his voice.

"You'd just better pay up when you get back," she teased.

"You know I'm good for it."

She grinned.

"So, how's LA?"

"Warm, sunny and totally miserable without you," he replied.

"Castle, I'm concerned," she said. "You should have your own identity outside our relationship."

"I have plenty.p," he argued.  "I'm a writer, a father, a son and a police consultant."

"You consult with the police department to shadow me; for a set of novels you wrote based on me; and your daughter interns at the morgue where most of our bodies end up; so, with the exception of your Mom, all the facets of your life are intertwined with me in some way," she pointed out. "That's not healthy."

"It was unhealthy before we were together; now, it's sweet and romantic."

"Good thing I'm not a diabetic; would have lost a foot after our first week together."

"don't pretend you don't love it, Kate." He paused.  "So..."

"So?"

"Whatcha doin'?"

"I'm watching a movie on TV."

"What's the movie?"

"Breakfast at Tiffany's," she replied.

"Remind me how that one goes."

She grinned; as if he hadn't seen it a hundred times. "Oh, you know, it's the same old story of a young, attractive woman just trying to make her way in the world doing something she's good at when this writer comes along and turns everything upside down."

"I hope for the better."

"Well, the movie isn't over yet."

"I wish I was at least on the same coast; then, we could watch it together over the phone - like we did when we started dating, remember?"

"Yeah," she said fondly. "That was nice."

"Actually, what I really wish is that I was there with you."

She sighed.

"Me, too, "she admitted. There was amother pause. "What would we be doing if you were?" She heard his breath catch. "Don't get too excited, Castle. I want you to be honest. If you were here, right this second, would you rip my clothes off and have your wicked way with me?"

He cleared his throat uncomfortably.

"Kate, if you don't want me to get excited, that is not the way to go about it."

"Castle," she warned.

"Ok, ok. Honestly? No," he admitted.

She sat up. "What would we be doing?"

"We'd be curled up together. I'd have my arms around you, your head under my chin, both of us facing the TV. You'd probably be wearing those pink pjs."

"Uh, if you were here I probably would be."

"Wait, what are you wearing? Not that – I know how that sounds – I didn't mean..."

"Relax, Castle." She smiled. She wished she could see him now. She loved watching him squirm, seeing him all flustered. "I'm wearing your purple shirt and my pink pyjama bottoms."

"I don't remember leaving that shirt at your place."

"Well, you might have to work on that little memory problem."

"Katherine Beckett, did you steal that out of my closet?"

"No!"  If she'd taken a fresh one out of his closet it wouldn't have smelt like him. "You knew I was going to do your laundry while you were gone since Martha's so busy with classes," she reminded him. "I was here, going through the clothes... I've always liked this shirt. It's my favourite colour; and it's the one you were wearing...y'know, that night."

"I remember. I love seeing you in that shirt. It reminds me of the morning _after_ that night."

"You were so funny. Did you really think you were dreaming?"

"I didn't want to let myself believe that it was real if it wasn't. It seemed too good to be true. Sometimes I still have to pinch myself."

"What about you? What would you be wearing, Mr. Castle?"

"My Batman boxers and probably the blue shirt I'm wearing now, but it would be open so you could see my white wife-beater."

"The cotton Batman boxers or the silk ones?"

"Ok, not that I'm complaining, but it's a little weird that you know so much about my underwear - the cotton ones."

"Do you think we'd be talking?"

He chuckled before replying, "We'd probably be arguing over which Hepburn is the best."

"Well, it's obviously Audrey, definitely." "

Well, of course you're going to say Audrey, otherwise it wouldn't be an argument."

"Audrey was classier."

"Katharine was totally classy; just in a different way. And she had guts, chutzpah."

"Audrey had chutzpah, she just didn't have to bring down other people to show it. She was a humanitarian."

"Katharine was a better actress."

"Says who?"

"Says everyone. More awards, a bigger body of work, more acclaim... her career speaks for itself."

"Nope. Sorry."

"And?"

"And nothing."

"That's it? That's your argument? You're not even going to try to back it up?"

"Don't need to. Who's movie are we hypothetically watching together right now?"

"You put it on."

"You have it on DVD."

"Audrey doesn't carry the whole film."

Beckett sighed, rolling her eyes.

"Are you rolling your eyes?"

"Maybe."

"With that smile, that 'You're such an idiot, Castle,' smile?"

"That's the one."

When he spoke again, his tone was softer.

"Well, maybe I'm just a sucker for strong, intelligent women named Katherine." He sighed. "I miss you."

"I miss you, too. So, what would we be doing now?" "

Now, I'd probably kiss you on the head. Depending on your mood, you might snuggle up closer, turn to face me and give me that look you know I can't resist."

"If I did, would you kiss me?"

"Of course - if you didn't beat me to it."

"I probably would," she admitted.

"But I wouldn't be far behind. It'd be soft and slow at first. I know how much you love to tease me."

"Oh, I do love to tease you – but that's not why I do it. I do it to be romantic."

"It is romantic," he admitted. "You above me, gently pushing your lips against mine; I'd be able to feel the warmth of your body, the beating of your pulse."

"Would it be fast?"

"Is it?"

 _Yes_.

"I don't know, Castle, I might need a little more... encouragement."

"I'd raise my hand to your hair – is it up?"

"Yeah."

"I'd stroke it softly. Usually, around this point, you start to introduce your tongue, just lightly pressing against my lips at first, but then, moving gently under mine as I open my mouth to you. Like I said, I wouldn't be far behind. I'd go for your bottom lip, you'd let me, my other hand would be on your neck and... well, it's different every night; but I think tonight would be one of those nights where we just have to kiss for hours without really knowing why."

Beckett inhaled and exhaled. She wasn't sure if this exercise was alleviating her angst or making it worse.

"Do you remember the first time we kissed?" he asked.

"How could I forget?"

"This is going to sound weird..."

"Coming from you, Castle, nothing sounds weird to me any more."

"Would it be OK if you... talked me through it? Your memory of it?"

"Uh..."

"Because that was the first time I heard you make that soft little sound at the back of your throat. Sometimes when we're having a heavy make-out session, or when we're in the middle of... you know, you make this sound; it makes me crazy and I want to hear it tonight – but I want it to be genuine. I was just thinking, that first kiss was so intense – but if it's too weird, that's... " he trailed off, sounding like he was losing confidence. What was it about a forty-two-year-old man referring to sex as 'you know' that she found so endearing?

"Castle, it's OK. You should never be afraid to ask me for anything. I won't say yes every time, and I'll probably judge you - but you should never be afraid to ask."

There was a pause.

"So... are you going to say yes this time?"

She pretended to mull it over. "I don't see the harm."

He said nothing. She wondered if he was smiling. She wanted to see him smile. She loved making him smile.

"OK, then," he said, his voice shaky. "Start when you're ready."

"Right. OK."

Was she nervous? She took a deep breath.

"So, it's night. It's cold and we've just gotten out of the car. We're both laughing, pretending to be a drunk couple to get past that guard. Your idea, of course. I lean against you. He spots us. He starts heading towards us. He's suspicious.

"My pulse speeds up. I keep laughing but I tell you, 'He's not buying it, Castle.' I try to keep up the ruse but I'm in full-on cop mode now. We stop, easing apart. I keep laughing, while my hand starts to wrap around my gun but then you grab my wrist and pull me towards you by the back of my neck. I could break free without too much difficulty but I'm in shock.

"I'm wondering what the hell's going on in your head. The way you're staring at me, it's making me feel...uneasy. Truth be told, I'm a little terrified. Not of you, but... of what's gonna happen next.

"I have no idea. This is all going through my head in the space of two seconds. Because then you're leaning towards me and your lips are on mine. God, I can feel them burning. But it's gentle and you move into it, your hand moving up and down my back.

"My whole body relaxes at first. I feel this warmth in my chest but when I realise what's happening, I break off. You look as stunned as I feel, even though you're the one who initiated it; but you also look... hungry. For me.

"I glance at the guard making his way towards us and I catch on. Without really considering it, I lean up and kiss you back, urgently, keeping an eye on the guard, because we need this to work if we want to save Espo and Ryan. He's s still walking towards us, we're still kissing, your hands are all over, I feel mine moving all over you too and for a moment, I just kind of lose myself. I forget what we're doing. I'm kissing you, you're kissing me and it feels incredible.

"That's when – " she sighed. She felt like she was letting him down. "I'm sorry, Castle, I'm trying. This feels amazing but I can't force myself -"

"It's OK, it's OK. You're doing great. Kate, this is so freaking hot. Just breathe." She obeyed.

"It was instinct," he explained. "I didn't want it to turn into a gun battle. I just did the first thing I could think of. You said you were open to dumb ideas.

"Well, I had another one and it was even dumber but I didn't have time to ask you if it was OK. So, I just did it. But then... it was you. I couldn't help it, I wasn't just kissing you to trick a guard, I was kissing you, tasting you; and when you broke off, part of me ached a little bit.

"You looked... so taken aback; but now,you're kissing me back and I'm holding you; your mouth is fire and ice; we're moving around, and I'm holding back my tongue as far as it'll go but then I feel the tip of your tongue on my lip and it's involuntary; you smell incredible, you feel incredible; and my tongue slips out for a fraction of a second and just barely grazes against yours -"

" _Hmm_ ," she moaned softly. She had to control her ragged breathing. Just thinking about that moment, hearing his voice saying those words, describing that kiss had brought her back and in an instant she was there again and she remembered; the softest brush of his tongue had sent so many indescribable feelings coursing through her body, she hadn't been able to suppress the tiny whimper that escaped her throat.

"Kate," he whispered softly. "Thankyou," he said between his own ragged breaths.

"You're welcome."

"But... yeah, so, anyway, back in the present, that's the sound that I would hopefully be coaxing out of you if I were there."

"And afterwards?"

"You'd pause, look down at me with another one of those looks of yours. I swear, you've got, like, fifteen different expressions that you only use with me."

"I think fifteen is a bit of an exaggeration."

"I'll follow you with a camera for a month and show you if you'd like."

"Pass. What's next?"

"You'd probably give me a little kiss... somewhere; it's different every time. Sometimes it's on my cheek, sometimes my forehead. I love it when you kiss my hand, because the look you get when you hold it, lips pressed against my fingers, is just so adorable."

She grinned. That was one of her favourite things to do; she didn't know why.

"Then, you'd lay back down. Usually, we can't be bothered getting up and end up falling asleep right there."

Beckett sighed. It was routine; but it was one that never got boring, like watching your favourite movie over and over. She missed it.

"But the couch is too small for both of us to sleep on and eventually, one of us usually wakes up. I think this time it would be you, and I would wake up to find you -"

"Ok, Castle," she interrupted him. "Don't spoil it."

She heard him take a deep breath. "Sorry," he said. "Ok, well... that was amazing."

"Yeah, it was... pretty good," said Beckett, still recovering.

"I guess I should get some sleep," he said reluctantly. "Will I talk to you tomorrow?"

"I don't know," she said coyly. "Will you?"

"Five-thirty, your time."

"I might be able to squeeze it in."

"OK. I guess I should let you go."

"OK."

"Love you."

"Love you, too," she said automatically, without realising it. It was only a second later that she did. Neither of them hung up.

 _Oops_. She had been waiting for the right moment and that had not exactly been the right moment.

"Castle?"

"Yeah?" His voice was carefully controlled.

"I -I mean it. I mean. wish I'd said it in person the first time, but it's true. I love you."

"I know. And you'll still get to tell me in person whenyou pick me up from the airport on Sunday – we can pretend it's the first time if you want."

"No, that's OK. I can live with this."

"You're sure?"

"Positive."

"Alright. Night, Detective."

"Until tomorrow, Mr. Castle."

 

* * *

 

 

 

She waited at baggage claim, fully intending to tell him. But when she saw him and he froze, smiling at her, words left her. They didn't run into each other's arms; they eased into them, as if he'd only been gone a few minutes. His arms enveloped her and she smiled up at him.

"A deal's a deal," he said, briefly removing one of his arms to take a five-dollar bill from his pocket.

"The benefits of a rich boyfriend," she said, tucking it into her own pocket as he embraced her again. They were the first words she'd spoken to him since he'd returned, and it occurred to her somewhere at the back of her mind that there was something else she wanted to say to him, but she couldn't quite recall what it was, preferring instead to bask in the awesomeness that was Castle being here, in person. The way he was looking at her told her she didn't need words. Her lips found his easily and she inhaled his scent. "Mm," she said against his skin.

"Me, too," he replied contentedly. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thankyou for reading. I hope that wasn't too angsty(!)* 
> 
> *Sarcasm


End file.
